Archive for July, 2009

A few more fun activities (in bed)

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

The Lonely Voyeur – For those who like to watch others while they masturbate comes this fantastic way to do it all by yourself. Simply get yourself some high-powered binoculars and turn them around. Now even things that are right in your lap will look like they are miles away. Spank it while you watch someone spank it from very far away, and you don’t even need a partner. Works for couples too!

It Ain’t Me – This move is perfect for when you are terribly horny but the only thing you can find is an ugly girl that you want nothing to do with. Get yourself some binoculars and turn them around, just as in the lonely voyeur. Now plow the ugly tramp and tell yourself over and over “It’s not me doing that” and since you are watching the action from such a great distance, it couldn’t possibly be you!

The Screwnicorn – The aptly namd screwnicorn simply requires a dildo and some tape. Tape that dildo to your head and bang away. Now you are a screwnicorn. Reciting lines from the Lord of the Rings series or your favorite D&D books completes the illusion of being transformed in to a mythical creature.

The One Armed Bandit – Previously only used to refer to slot machines, a One Armed Bandit is now a sly sex act, great for first dates who look like they may stop you after the backrub starts to turn in to a front rub. Simply rub the shoulders with one hand and your junk (quietly) with the other. Blow your load the back of her head and get out of there before she realizes what has happened.  If you date is wearing a “hoodie” you can drop your man chowder in the hood and she may not discover the transgression until the next day.  Jackpot!

Kancho (カンチョー, kanchō?)[1] is a prank often played in Japan; it is performed by clasping the hands together so the index fingers are pointing out and attempting to insert them sharply into someone’s anal region when the victim is not looking.[2] It is similar to the wedgie or a goosing, although, as compared to kancho, those latter-mentioned acts do not involve physical contact which is quite as intimate or direct. A Kancho is often executed simultaneously as the offending party loudly expresses the second syllable of “Kan-CHO!”